*对CMBYN的喜爱令我为之神魂颠倒，在看完影片后辄购买了它的中英两本书。原著是艾里奥视角，大部分由他的心理活动构成，通过原著，我们可以了解到影片几个意味深长的镜头后面，艾里奥当时到底在想些什么？他的感情何时发生？又是如何地在发展？小说和电影实在都具有各自的魅力。
*为了防止一些纠纷，以下中文部分由我本人自译。由于水平有限，在此先行请求谅解。有耐心的读者不妨直接阅读英文原文，想必能更为贴近最真实的感觉。欢迎互相交流，接受批评，但不接受抨击（嘤嘤）。
原著分为四部分，以下摘自第一部分“If Not Later，When？（回头不试，更待何时？） ”
1.
Better stay away from him，I thought. To think that I had almost fallen for the skin of his hands， his chest， his feet that had never touched a rough surface in their existence—and his eyes， which，when their other，kinder gaze fell on you，came like the miracle of the Resurrection. You could never stare long enough but needed to keep staring to find out why you couldn't.
最好离他远一点儿，我想。我几乎沦陷于他的手，他的胸膛，他生来从未接触过粗糙表面的脚——还有他的眼睛。当他的视线用另一种和善些的方式落到你身上，仿佛是耶稣复活般的奇迹。你看再久也不会觉得腻，反而会一直盯着看，好知道为什么你无法移开目光。
P.S.奥利弗初来乍到，艾里奥立刻便被他吸引了。在两人还未熟悉对方的时候，首先吸引艾里奥的是他对奥利弗身体上的贪求。文中多次出现艾里奥眼中、关于奥利弗肉体的美妙描写，让我想起莎翁曾写过：少年之爱在于眼，不在心。
2.
I knew exactly what phrase in the piece must have stirred him the first time，and each time I played it， I was sending it to him as a little gift， because it was really dedicated to him,，as a token of something very beautiful in me that would take no genius to figure out and that urged me to throw in an extended cadenza. Just for him.
We were—and he must have recognized the signs long before I did—flirting.
一开始，我就很清楚是曲子里的哪个片段撩动了他。每当我弹奏起那一片段，都当做是一份送给他的小礼物，因为那正是献给他的。那代表着我美丽的象征，不必花费气力就能领会，它激励我为此加入长长的华彩乐章。只为了他。
我们在——想必他早在我之前就已看出端倪——调情。
P.S.此段系描写影片中的弹琴片段，俩人其实在调情2333。
3.
Fire like fear，like panic，like one more minute of this and I'll die if he doesn't knock at my door，but I'd sooner he never knock than knock now. I had learned to leave my French windows ajar，and I'd lie on my bed wearing only my bathing suit，my entire body on fire. Fire like a pleading that says， Please, please， tell me I'm wrong， tell me I've imagined all this， because it can't possibly be true for you as well， and if it's true for you too， then you're the crudest man alive.
那火是害怕，是恐惧，是现下的每一分钟——如果他再不来敲我的房门，我想我会煎熬至死。但我宁愿他永远别来，也好过他现在来。我将窗子敞开，躺在床上，浑身只着一件泳裤，仿佛全身都在燃烧。那火焰乞求着，说，求求你，拜托了，告诉我我错了，告诉我一切都只是想象，因为它对你来说也未必真实。如果它对你而言同样真实，那你简直是世界上最残酷的人。
This，the afternoon he did finally walk into my room without knocking as if summoned by my prayers and asked how come I wasn't with the others at the beach， and all I could think of saying， though I couldn't bring myself to say it， was， To be with you. To be with you， Oliver. With or without my bathing suit. To be with you on my bed. In your bed. Which is my bed during the other months of the year. Do with me what you want. Take me.
那个下午，他走进我的房间，没有敲门，就好像他终于听见了我的祈求似的。他问我为什么不和其他人一起去海边，而我想说，尽管我无力说出口：我只想和你待在一起。和你在一起，奥利弗。穿不穿泳裤都好。我想和你在一起，在我的床上，在你的床上，在那张一年里其他月份属于我的床上。跟我做你想做的事情。占有我。
P.S.这一段和上面一段连在一起。即电影中，艾里奥在房里受着心灵和身体上双重的相思之苦，他把手伸进了泳裤里……然后奥利弗突然进来了。
4.
What I hoped he hadn't noticed in my overreaction to his grip was something else. Before shirking off his arm， I knew I had yielded to his hand and had almost leaned into it, as if to sa——as I'd heard adults so often say when someone happened to massage their shoulders while passing behind the——Don't stop. Had he noticed I was ready not just to yield but to mold into his body？
我希望他没有从我挣脱他触碰的过度反应中发现什么。在躲开他的手臂之前，我知道我已经屈服于他的抚摸，并且几乎迷恋于此，好像要说——我曾经常听见成年人们在某个人经过他们身后，为他们按摩肩膀时说的那样——别停下。他注意到我已经准备好臣服于他，想要与他合为一体了吗？
P.S.此段系奥利弗为艾里奥试探性按摩肩膀时，艾里奥的心理状态。翻译最后一句的时候真的好害羞啊……
5.
But it was the gold necklace and the Star of David with a golden mezuzah on his neck that told me here was something more compelling than anything I wanted from him, for it bound us and reminded me that, while everything else conspired to make us the two most dissimilar beings, this at least transcended all differences.
是他脖子上有着金门柱圣卷的大卫之星项链告诉我，他身上有比我对他的欲望更吸引我的东西，它把我们联结在一起，提醒着我，即使其他的一切都在论证我们是最不相似的个体，至少这一点已足以超越所有差异。
P.S.此段系艾里奥对奥利弗佩戴大卫之星的心理描写。出自同源的归属感让艾里奥的内心彻底沦陷。
6.
What baffled me was that he didn't seem to care or notice that I wore one too. Just as he probably didn't care or notice each time my eyes wandered along his bathing suit.
让我困惑的是他似乎完全不关心或是不在意我也佩戴了一个大卫之星。就好像他也不关心或是没注意到我在他泳裤上频频流连的眼神。
P.S.哈哈哈哈哈哈。
7.
"Elio."
"Yes?"
“艾里奥？”
“嗯？”
"What are you doing?"
"Reading."
"No, you're not."
"Thinking, then."
"About?"
“你在做什么？”
“读书。”
“不，你才没有。”
“那么，是在思考。”
“思考什么？”
I was dying to tell him.
"Private," I replied.
"So you won't tell me?"
"So I won't tell you."
"So he won't tell me," he repeated, pensively, as if explaining to someone about me.
我多么渴望能够告诉他。
“私事。”我答道。
“所以你不会告诉我啰？”
“所以我不会告诉你。”
“所以他不会告诉我，”他重复道，沉思一般，仿佛在向某人解释关于我的事。
How I loved the way he repeated what I myself had just repeated. It made me think of a caress, or of a gesture, which happens to be totally accidental the first time but becomes intentional the second time and more so yet the third.
我多么喜欢他重复我刚刚重复过的话。那让我想到一个爱抚，或是一个姿势，第一次是偶然发生，第二次则有意为之，接着又会发生第三次。
P.S.这段对话在电影中有体现，原来艾里奥回答“私事”时内心活动这么丰富23333。
8.
No, two would do, he replied, and, turning to my parents, added, "I know myself. If I have three, I'll have a fourth, and more." I had never heard someone his age say, I know myself. It intimidated me.
不必了，两个就好，他答道。然后他转向我的父母，说，“我了解我自己。如果我吃了第三个，我就会吃第四个，甚至更多。”我从未听过他这个年纪的人会说，“我了解我自己”，我有点儿被吓到了。
P.S.奥利弗是矛盾的，我认为鸡蛋是一个象征，这代表着，一方面奥利弗想要更多地满足自己的欲望，一方面他又想要克制自己，就像他对艾里奥的心理。
9.
"It's a long story, so bear with me, Pro." Suddenly Oliver had become serious. "Many Latin words are derived from the Greek. In the case of 'apricot,' however, it's the other way around; the Greek takes over from Latin. The Latin word was praecoquum, from pre-coquere, pre-cook, to ripen early, as in 'precocious,' meaning premature."
“说来话长，请容忍我一会儿，教授。”奥利弗忽然变得严肃起来，“很多拉丁文都来自希腊语，然而至于‘apricot’，它是另一回事，是希腊语从拉丁语中吸收而来。拉丁语中的‘praecoquum’，来自‘pre-coquere’，也就是‘pre-cook’，早熟的意思，‘precocious’是它的同义词，代表着早熟。”
My mother, unable to resist his charm, reached out to him and tousled his hair and said, "Che muvi star!"
"He is right, there is no denying it," said my father under his breath, as though mimicking the part of a cowered Galileo forced to mutter the truth to himself.
"Courtesy of Philology 101," said Oliver.
All I kept thinking of was apricock precock, precock apricock.
我的妈妈，完全无法抵御他的魅力，她伸手摸了摸他的头发，说，“大明星！”
“他是对的，无法否认。”我父亲压低嗓音说，就像是在模仿畏畏缩缩的伽利略嘟囔着只敢对自己说出真理的样子。
“这还得感谢哲学101。（百度了一下好像是本书名……不太了解qaq）”奥利弗说。
而我脑子里只萦绕着性器，早熟的杏器。
P.S.杏-apricot，性器-cock，作者把杏的词尾“cot”换成了“cock”。名场面啊名场面。艾里奥真的是个老司机……
10.
"What's it to you anyway?" he asked.
“这跟你到底有什么关系？”奥利弗问。
I described her naked body, which I'd seen two years before. I wanted him aroused. It didn't matter what he desired so long as he was aroused.
我描述起奇利亚的裸体，我曾在两年之前见过。我希望他被挑起欲望，由什么来挑逗起他并不重要。
"Are you trying to make me like her?"
"What would the harm be in that?"
"No harm. Except I like to go it alone, if you don't mind."
“你想让我喜欢上她？”
“有什么不好的呢？”
“没什么不好。但我更愿意自己来，如果你不介意的话。”
It took me a while to understand what I was really after. Not just to get him aroused in my presence, or to make him need me, but in urging him to speak about her behind her back, I'd turn Chiara into the object of man-to-man gossip. It would allow us to warm up to one another through her, to bridge the gap be tween us by admitting we were drawn to the same woman.
我花了一段时间才明白是什么促使我这样做。不仅仅是想让他在我面前被挑起欲望，或是让他需要我，而是要让他背着奇利亚谈论她，我把奇利亚当成维系男人与男人话题的谈资，通过她我们会热络起来，承认被同一个女性吸引将在我们之间建立起桥梁。
P.S.“邪恶”的艾里奥噢。
以上片段在电影中均有体现。
以下我将另摘录一些艾里奥的心理活动，它们无法在电影中表现出来，但了解它们的过程也同样很有意思。
1.
They are em bossed on every song that was a hit that summer, in every novel I read during and after his stay, on anything from the smell of rosemary on hot days to the frantic rattle of the cicadas in the afternoon—smells and sounds I'd grown up with and known every year of my life until then but that had suddenly turned on me and acquired an inflection forever colored by the events of that summer.
这些感觉凸显于那个夏天每一首流行歌曲里，在他寄宿期间与离开之后我读的每一本小说里，在炎炎烈日的迷迭香味里，以及午后时分蝉鸣发狂似的鸣叫里——我本该十分熟悉这些伴随我年年成长的气味和声音，直到那时，我突然感到，那个夏天所发生的一切，被永远赋予了全新的色彩。
P.S.这段就是类似于“我的世界因你而绚烂”啦，水平所限，意译为主，轻喷QAQ。
2.
I had been perfectly willing to brand him as difficult and un approachable and have nothing more to do with him. Two words from him, and I had seen my pouting apathy change into I'll play anything for you till you ask me to stop, till it's time for lunch, till the skin on my fingers wears off layer after layer, because I like doing things for you, will do anything for you, just say the word.
我实在愿意给他贴上难以相处、不好接近的标签，再也不为他做任何事。可仅仅只要他的只言片语，我就知道我冷淡的臭脸会转变成我愿意为你弹奏一切，直至你叫我停下，直至午餐时间到来，直至我手指的皮肤一层一层地剥落，因为我喜欢为你做事儿，也愿意为你做任何事，只要你开口。
P.S.艾里奥曾抱怨过奥利弗“Later”的粗鲁，但在抱怨之下，其实隐藏的是一颗泥足深陷的心。
3.
Was he my home, then, my home coming? You are my homecoming. When I'm with you and we're well together, there is nothing more I want. You make me like who I am, who I become when you're with me, Oliver. If there is any truth in the world, it lies when I'm with you, and if I find the courage to speak my truth to you one day, remind me to light a candle in thanksgiving at every altar in Rome.
他是我的故乡，我的归宿吗？你是我的归宿。当你在我身边，当我们在一起，我别无所求。是你让我成为如今的我，这个与你同在的我，奥利弗。如果这个世上存在真实，它存在于我和你在一起的时候。如果有一天我鼓起勇气，对你说出了我真实的心意，请提醒我，要在感恩节时为罗马的每一处圣坛点燃烛光。
P.S.“归宿”这个词，只是打字打出来都觉得温柔极了。
4.
Don't let him be someone else when he's away. Don't let him be someone I've never seen before. Don't let him have a life other than the life I know he has with us, with me.
Don't let me lose him.
I knew I had no hold on him, nothing to offer, nothing to lure him by.
I was nothing.
Just a kid.
当他不在我身边时，别教他变成另一个人。别让他变成我全然陌生的人。除了他和我们、和我在一起时的人生之外，别让他拥有其他的人生。
别让我失去他。
我知道我无法掌控他，没什么能给他，也没什么能吸引到他。
我什么也不是。
仅仅是个孩子。
5.
I wanted him gone from our home so as to be done with him.
I wanted him dead too, so that if I couldn't stop thinking about him and worrying about when would be the next time I'd see him, at least his death would put an end to it. I wanted to kill him myself, even, so as to let him know how much his mere existence had come to bother me.
我想要他离开，好让我和他有个了断。
我也想让他死亡，那么我便不必再去想他，也不用担心什么时候能再见到他，他的死亡会让这一切终结。我甚至想亲手杀掉他，好让他知道，仅仅只是他的存在，已经多么困扰到我。
P.S.美味的病娇啊23333。
6.
If I didn't kill him, then I'd cripple him for life, so that he'd be with us in a wheelchair and never go back to the States. If he were in a wheelchair, I would always know where he was, and he'd be easy to find. I would feel superior to him and become his master, now that he was crippled.
如果我没有杀掉他，那么我想致他终生残废，这样他就能待在轮椅上和我们一块儿，永远不回美国。当他身陷轮椅，我就能轻易知道他在哪儿，然后找到他。由于他已残疾，我将凌驾于他之上，我会成为他的主人。
P.S.病娇again，有着中二“主人梦”的艾里奥。
7.
There is a law somewhere that says that when one person is thoroughly smitten with the other, the other must unavoidably be smitten as well. Amor ch'a nulVamato amar perdona. Love, which exempts no one who's loved from loving, Francesca's words in the Inferno. Just wait and be hopeful. I was hopeful, though perhaps this was what I had wanted all along. To wait forever.
我记得在哪儿听过一个法则：当A完全迷恋B的时候，B必定无可避免地也爱上了A。Amorch' anull' amatoamar perdona 。“爱，让每一个被爱的人无可豁免地也要去爱”，这是弗兰西斯卡在《地狱篇》里说的话。耐心等待、怀着希望。我充满希望，或许这就是我一直渴望的。我会永恒等待。
P.S.这一段是文中经典语句，翻译主要出自参考，略加改动。
结尾说一点感想。
艾里奥的爱萌发于情欲，热烈但是躁动，而且不得不说，非常幼稚。却又因同为犹太人的归属感而得到了爱的宁静，我倾向他的爱情是灵与肉的统一。至于奥利弗，书中的他更为矛盾和隐晦，锤子的演绎将奥利弗变得温柔了许多，也让电影中的情感发展没那么揪心。
表白锤子和甜茶><！让我爱上了那个意大利的夏天。
如果有足够人看的话，我会加油做完余下的二三四part……毕竟这个工程量真的有点艰巨QAQ
Thanks for reading.